blah blah Shut up

Some people just don’t know when to shut up

some people just communicate so much that its irritating, does this make sense ?

i have a strange annoyance for people who just constantly need to be speaking with other people

constantly need to be blahing about something

they cant just keep their mouths shut and maybe perhaps try to figure out another way of communicating

NO this is not PRACTICAL at ALL

i know this…

but just humor me .. please

i love people and i get lonely sometimes but i only get lonely for people i am really close with

not just to be with any random people imaginable

its just in my genes to not want to be ANTI social i guess… seeing as i was raised by a family of Persian cats.

DID U KNOW THAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SPELL fERRIS wheel with a capital F because its not A ferris wheel its THE Ferris wheel named after the man who created it.


i dont know why i have so much … odd ( hatred ? is it realy hatred ? thats a strong word ) for people who are unlike me.

i guess what it boils down to after all is that i don’t want to be lonely ! matter of fact i would LOVE to get along with other people… matter of fact im REALLY lonely … but the kind of people who i would genuinely get along with are few and far between…

like today … i would love to go downstairs and hang out with and get to know the people who are in the house right now …. smoking up…. i mean they seem nice over all ..but there is something about their mindless banter… and their annoying repetitive stoner laughs … that is a huge turn off ….so in turn i sit up here alone … and annoyed … when i could be a little happier if i could just dumb my conversation down  and go hang out with them ? who knows…

i need a new life. i have for a long time.. when will i just be able to grow the balls ( uhm ew ) to change my life the way it needs to be changed

when will i stop bitching about it in a blog and get out there and just move to hawaii …

im only brave sometimes…with somethings.. not all things…

so in the meantime i will just shovel peanut M&M’s into my face and type about it waa waa waa !

an asteroid will hit tomorrow … for all i know it really will ? i need to be having more fun this world is so big

i used to play the sims and then i stopped because i realized… damn by the time you get them to bed and they get full sleep and then they are able to eat and then they FINALLY havethe engery to paint or some shit then you have to ship them off to work and then do it all over again … which is why i never “beat” that game or any other game like it ( zoo tycoon..roller coaster tycoon…any of those living games ) i would get bored and just kill everyone and cause havoc.. i would create the PERFECT zoo and then grow sick of it and fire all the maintenance workers so the fences would rot…and then i would sit patiently for about ten minutes and watch the fences rot .. and the animals escape and start attacking each other and the people.

THEN i realized… holy crap my life is JUST LIKE the sims … it takes SO MUCH work to be a healthy human .. every day u need at least 8 glasses of water.. u need to eat enough food to be healthy you need to make sure to get excersize you need to make sure you take care of your mind .. by doing something creative .. you need to take care of mundane things ….

its so much work .. humans are PATHETIC …  we are so imperfect… we are so weak … we are fat putrid little spoiled beings who couldnt last a day in the “wild” …okay a day yes…. but many people actually could not !

our hearts beat so much everyday and never ever get a break …we have to keep breathing SO MUCH … if you took one day and just payed attention to your breathing alone it would start to make you a little crazy i would think because you would  try to start to control it and then it might seem as if it has become hard to breath.

i need to go downstairs and get the laundry and the weird part about it is when i go down there they will all stop their conversation and everyone will be silent and look at me ….

you know i guess im just used to being invisible … i think i perfer it that way … im used to being akward and invisible …not someone who a room shuts up for. …

its bizzarre.

you know how i know i am a normal human again ?

because if someone is staring at me in public my first reaction now is … oh man did i sit in something …not … I wonder if theyve seen my videos .




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